The first step is to recognize that your child is struggling and the urgency of their need for help needs to be assessed as even children can be at high risk of self harm and/or suicide.
In these cases you should enlist professional help immediately from your GP, local hospital or local mental health service.
All services should have a Child and Youth department within them.
It is also important to know what anxiety is and what to look out for.
Is it an ongoing problem or a one off where they may have been subject to a bully?
Symptoms to look out for:
Children may worry excessively about lots of things: school, their own safety and health, the health of family members and friends, money, and their family's security. The list is endless.
A child with anxiety may always imagine the worst possible thing that could happen.
They may also experience physical symptoms because of these worries, like headaches and stomach aches.
Your child may also isolate themselves, avoiding school and friends because they are so overwhelmed by their worries.
In some cases they may start bed wetting.
The management plan developed for a young person with anxiety will be dependent upon a range of factors including: The severity of symptoms, their age, health services available, both in terms of actual services to refer to and the skills and experiences of workers involved, other presenting health issues (it is a good idea to get your GP to check them out first as this will often also be the first thing a professional will ask you to do), what support network are available, including family and friends, or school supports, the young persons' preference for a particular treatment approach.
Older children may benefit from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or other types of counseling.
It is also important to consider what is going on around them and at home for them, eg have they had a falling out with a friend, has their been marital problems at home, separation of family members, an upheaval of location and schools, a loss of a family member or favorite pet, conflict?
Supporting your child at home:
If your child shows signs of anxiety, there are some general strategies you can try at home. If your child is being treated for anxiety by a professional, you should discuss these strategies with that person first.
Acknowledge your child’s fear – don’t dismiss or ignore it.
Let your child know you’re there to support and care for them.
Try and ascertain if there is anything distressing them at present.
Consider and in a non confrontational way enquire about any drug or alcohol use or if they are being pressure by their peers to use substances.
Gently encourage your child to do the things that they are anxious about. But don’t push them to face situations they don't want to face. Wait until your child actually gets anxious before you step in to help. Praise your child for doing something they are anxious about.
Avoid labelling your child as ‘shy’ or ‘anxious’. Try to refer to them as ‘brave’ or a similarly positive term. After all, your child is trying to overcome their difficulties.
Exercise and activities that distract or relax them can also be helpful.
Try to be a good role model by managing your own stress and anxiety.
# Never punish your child for things like mistakes on schoolwork or lack of progress.
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