When Christmas is difficult to celebrate.

 

Christmas.

 

Christmas is usually a time to celebrate, overindulge and spend time with loved ones.
The real origin of Christmas was for Christians to commemorate the birth of Jesus Christ.

 

Sadly these days the 25th of December has become more about retail outlets making money and the focus has become a money making venture for many that often are unable to afford it.

 

In this blog I am not judging people and their religious beliefs or lack thereof , or telling you how to celebrate but would like to help people reevaluate what Christmas means and how it affects people and what we can do about it to make a difference.
Many of these things can also apply to you, and/or be useful for you.

 

For those of you reading this, you have been blessed with internet access and the knowledge of how to use it to learn, interact and numerous other things.
Some people do not even have the money for a smart phone or computer, both of which many of us take for granted.

 

How many of your kids would be satisfied with a gift of leggo, dolls, a real book, (not an e book) board game or hoola hoop for Christmas?
I am sure a lot of you would say 'are you kidding?, they want a new ipod or laptop or some other expensive item you may not even be able to afford. On the day would your kids thank you, or be comparing what was under the tree to others... "this is not fair, "John" got the latest this or that and all I get is a lousy "book".
Will you spend the New Year wondering how you will pay their gifts off?

 

Many of us assume that because we are well off, have lots of friends and family to celebrate Christmas that others also do.... this is so untrue.

 

For many, Christmas is a time for loneliness, suffering, pain and even depression.
People of a low socioeconomic status, people who have suffered losses throughout the year, people with illnesses, both mental and physical, those who have had family conflict and many other reasons are often alone and have no one to share this special day with, will not receive a gift to put under their tree, if they even can afford a tree and their Christmas dinner may be toast or in some really sad cases, people have literally had to eat pet food to survive.
There is also a term called "The empty chair" when someone has lost a family member for whatever reason, that usually sat there".
This reinforces their loss in a physical way as well as emotional.


One of Elvis Presleys' most well known songs is about a Blue Christmas although it was written by Billy Hayes / Jay Johnson.

It refers to having a sad Christmas, perhaps because you are away from family or alone, or even filled with thoughts of a happier time that brings tears to you eyes.

Blue is a symbolic color for the emotion sad.

"I’ll have a blue Christmas without you
I’ll be so blue thinking about you
Decorations of red
On a green Christmas tree
Won’t be the same
If you’re not here with meAnd when those blue snow flakes start falling
And when those blue memories start falling
You’ll be doing all right with your Christmas of white
But I’ll have a blue, blue, blue, blue Christmas
Decorations of red
On a green Christmas tree
Oh, won’t be the same
If you’re not here with me
I’ll have a blue Christmas, that’s certain
And when that blue heartache starts hurting
You’ll be doing all right
With your Christmas of white
But I’ll have a blue, blue Christmas"


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KK6sMo8NBY

 

This may hit home to many, some of you will say that I am over exaggerating, some will just not want to know and will read no further but hopefully many of you WILL care and would like to make even a small difference.

 

HOW YOU CAN HELP
1. CARE!
2. Open your eyes to others not in a happy situation and acknowledge this.
3. Spend time with these people
4. Invite them to events but also be aware that some may not want to attend due to social anxiety or because they will feel left out or that you are just inviting them to be polite. Do not push them and make sure if you do invite them that they feel you really do care and want them to attend.
5. Make time to even pop in to visit them for a cup of coffee or invite them over.
6. Allow them to talk about their situation.
7. If you have any concerns about their safety, encourage them to seek help.
8. Take them a card or a small gift, for example, if you are making cookies or rum balls for your family, make some extra, wrap them in cellophane and tie a pretty ribbon around them, a pot plant with  ribbon tied around it or even a bunch of herbs tied with a ribbon can be lovely gifts.
If you have any talents like drawing, make them a picture, if you make jewelry, make them something pretty. The list of easy yet affordable and meaningful ideas is endless.
Some suggestions:
http://www.iheartnaptime.net/handmade-christmas-gifts/
9. Offer to take them to Church or to Christmas carols
10. If you have left over food from your Christmas dinner, share this with them.

 

PLEASE ENSURE THAT IF YOU DO ANY OF THE ABOVE THAT YOU SHOW THEM YOU CARE AND THAT YOU ARE NOT JUST TREATING THEM LIKE A CHARITY CASE!

 

HOW TO DEAL WITH A LONELY CHRISTMAS YOURSELF
Some of you may chose to be alone, that is fine, do not feel that you "must" or "should" do something, if you are not comfortable or feel anxious about the thought.

1. Exercise regularly. Blood pumping can help clear your mind.
2. Eat right. Chocaholics beware. Overindulgence can mean temporary highs followed by disappointing flab.
3. Lights on! Enjoy sunlight, outdoors if possible. Brighten up your home and workplace. Light therapy sometimes helps SAD.
4. Budget your gift spending and stick with your budget. Prevent January bill shock.
5. Talk about your feelings.  Keeping them bottled up can mean anxiety, ulcers, sour disposition, and/or explosion. Need a trusted, listening friend? Try a local church.
6. Give to others. Volunteer. A medical professor Stephen Post, PhD, is convinced that giving is essential for optimum physical and mental health in our fragmented society. 
7. He says some physicians give volunteerism “prescriptions” to their Medicare patients.
8. Seek counsel. Some people can be embarrassed to obtain professional counsel. There is no shame, it is recommended  We all can use good advice navigating life’s storms.
9. Develop spiritual roots if you are a Christian.
10. Reach out to old friends and family
11. Give gifts to people around you, even hide some in their mailbox or leave outside their door.
12. Focus your thoughts on what you have, instead of what you don’t have.
13. Spend time with people, especially positive ones who lift your spirits. Perhaps you’ll be grateful for their cheer.
14. Make Christmas Day YOUR day, see link for some ideas:

https://lonerwolf.com/51-things-christmas-alone/




To those of my readers who made it all the way through this blog, thank you and also thank you for your support since I commenced blogging this year.
I wish you a safe and blessed Christmas season and would appreciate any feedback or experiences of your own or suggestions.
Also please share this with anyone you think may benefit.


If you are, or someone you know is at risk, please encourage them to see their GP, talk to someone they trust and/or to contact a service below or similar.

 

REFERENCES

 

http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/how-to-deal-with-loneliness-during-holiday-season.html

 

https://powertochange.com/discover/lonely-christmas/

 

For extra support in Australia
https://salvos.org.au/christmas/need-help-this-christmas/feeling-lonely-need-to-chat/


Lifeline 131114
Beyond Blue 1300224636